On the Road: Roadkill

On a regular basis I have to drive from one place to another, having a lot of time to think about things. This will be the start of a series of posts regarding them. (They will be added randomly.)

Two weeks ago when I was on my way to my flat from my parents place I did the unthinkable.
I killed a bunny.
By accident.
With my car. With my father’s car…
I did not mean doing so…

As nowadays society works I had to post it to the social networks, of course with opposing results, an example:

A: Great….now I’ve killed a bunny…:(
I didn’t mean to! 😄
Sa: NOOO! He certainly was on his way to the Weißhirschpark* 😦
Ri: öy poor Hopalong 😦
A: I think he thought himself to be a car…sat in the middle of the road, facing straight ahead and then he dodged in the direction of the wheel…
Sa: fail bunny^^
Ro: DINNER 😀
A: I think it’s not enough left for that…
Ro: it would have certainly still worked as ragout 🙂
A: Roadkill-Ragout? Doesn’t sound tasty…
Ro: but the term is good
K:  Don’t you only have to pick out the stonies and asphalt crumbs…?! 😀
A: Naaah, I think it would taste too much like gum…
K: Then it is, selling it as patent remedy to Haribo**!!! 😀
Ro: with a scattered shot you have to pick out every bullet as well
A: This is getting more and more tastier here 😄
Scraped*** shot is something different then wheel shaped…-.-…
Se: Do you already have enough for a Roadkill-Quartett?
A: The half…bird and bunny…the rest hopefully doesn’t add too soon…and stays in this dimension…

* Weißhirschpark is the German name for “White Deer Park”, the place the animals from the old cartoon series The Animals of Farthing Wood wandered off to.
** Haribo is the most famous producer of gummy bears here in Germany.
*** In German the words for scrap (Schrott) and scattered gun shot (Schrotschuss) are pretty similar, only differing in the number of “T’s”

Morbid isn’t it?
But as said: I do not wish to repeat it.
Especially not with a deer, boar or any other car damaging animal.
The bureaucracy surrounding it is just to troublesome…

Have you ever heard of how this stuff is handled around here?
Let me tell you…
If you come into the bad situation that you have hit an animal, let’s say: deer, you have to do as follows:
After overcoming your initial shock you will have to stop your car, turning on your warning lights. The next thing you do is calling the police, somewhat like this:

“My names Jane/John Doe. I’m on the road to Nowhere and I just hit a deer. It’s probably dead.”
“Stay calm we will be sending someone as soon as possible.”

All you have to do now is set up a triangular warning sign 100m behind you and waiting for the police and an forest official to arrive – which could take from 10 minutes to some hours. Those two parties have to make a report regarding the accident. Taking in the condition of the car, removing the deer from the street, etc.. With this report you then can go to your car insurance and try to get the repair company to do their job and the money for paying them and so forth.

So let’s just hope to not be involved in an accident like that…
I could tell you more about starlings and engine hoods, sheep and trains or deer acrobatics, but that would get morbid again…

As negative as this might sound don’t get me wrong: I do like animals.
But their suicidal tendencies are most unwelcome.

PoiSonPaiNter

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